I'm about to get a new job in the drug industry, maybe with AstraZeneca!
What most of you don't know is that only a day before the "Zube Affair" I e-mailed my CV to AstraZeneca's communications professionals. Well, I sent it to Astra's CEO as well. Which may be a bit ironic, considering how this affair has played out.
But it also shows why the drug industry needs me very badly. Especially AstraZeneca.
Perhaps I should also point out that I actually sent my CV to more than one hundred pharma CEO's and communications professionals.
So why do you think I think that I will soon have a new job?
Well, if the Zube Affair doesn't convince them that they need me back, I think my letter will.
The logic is impenetrable. So, soon I'll stop blogging and start working. You heard it here first.
And here's that letter which will land me my next job:
Dear [First Name]
Since you work in the communications and media area, I figured you might have heard about me, and could assist forwarding my CV to your CEO with your recommendation to interview me for a leadership position in your organization.
The fact that I have been vindicated and proven right about what I did at Pfizer (see below), should make me a very attractive employee for anyone in the drug industry.
Let’s be straight here: I’ve clearly been blacklisted for more than a year after Pfizer fired me for blowing the whistle on illegal marketing, without a single job interview, in spite of the best performance within all of Pfizer. (See attached CV.) But now things are different. It turns out that I was right and Pharmacia was wrong. After all, otherwise Pfizer wouldn’t have paid a $35 million fine.
And I thought that since all drug company CEO’s talk about how ethical they are, and how it is always prior management that was guilty of whatever fines they had to pay; perhaps someone in the current management would like to hire me? I mean, that would be like putting the hiring decision where there’s currently just PR-spin.
So, I figured, YOUR COMPANY might be jumping for joy to hire me. And you should probably respond ASAP, so you beat the others to the punch. After all, what better PR could you get for your organization than hiring a guy who did everything right and delivered the best financial results? As a PR professional, you probably realize this would dispel the myth that your company is one of the crooks. I guess the only risk is if you don’t hire me, everyone will wonder what you have to hide . . . but let’s face it, as someone working with public relations for your company, you are keenly aware that only 7% of Americans in the 2006 Harris poll think drug companies “are generally honest and trustworthy,” so there is only upside to you responding to this letter. Because, to be very frank, based on that poll your department has completely failed in its mission and here’s your chance to do something about that.
By the way, not only did my unit during my last year in charge deliver the best financial result within all of Pharmacia/Pfizer based on objective sales data vs. forecast (comparing products with sales of more than $100 million), I also doubled sales in two years, as a general manager for northern Europe, and moved one affiliate from #19 to #7.
And if you don’t have any permanent position available, I’d be very pleased to do some consulting work for you, or come in and entertain your leadership team with a hard-hitting presentation which was voted #1 during a recent industry seminar with drug company PR-professionals (evaluation letter from meeting organizers available upon request).
I’m looking forward to hearing back from you, very soon. And, please don’t be afraid to forward this e-mail. At a minimum your CEO will be entertained.
But there is more; I immediately got one response to this letter last last week, from one drug company that decided right away they didn't want me: Schering-Plough.
If I remember correctly, most of Pharmacia's old management went to Schering-Plough. Including the guy who was in charge of Genotropin before I started . . . now why would they not want to hire me?
They if anyone would need me. Too bad they don't seem to realize that. Stay tuned. I hear Department of Justice is investigating Pharmacia's Bextra marketing.