1. Develop a chemical sensitivity to pizza and doughnuts
2. Ask them if they give the product to their kid.
3. Establish a strict office dress code. Tell your office manager not to admit anyone wearing tailored skirt suits or highly polished shoes. ( As an added bonus this will limit the number of lawyers who seek your services.)
4. If they are hawking antidepressants, tell them you only treat children, and ask them to send you full color brochures about their “black box.”
5. Be sure to return all of your phone calls while the rep is waiting to see you.
6. Hire a pharmacology graduate student to help out in your front office. The drug rep may not see you, until the student has finished quizzing him on the chemical properties of all of his products.
7. Schedule four of them at the same time and only see the one who emerges from your waiting room alive.
8. Ask them whether their company has underwritten psychologists' efforts to get prescribing privileges.
9. If the drug rep is hawking stimulants, send them back to your office and confidentially tell him that you have had a bit of a problem with your DEA license. Could they provide you with lots of free samples?
10. Post the AMA ethics guidelines about dealing with pharmaceutical companies in your waiting room and ask your office manager to review the guidelines monthly.
11. Get your information about psychopharmacology from talking to colleagues, attending seminars, and reading journals.
12. Post signs that exclude any rolling bags whatsoever!
13. Schedule appointments no earlier then 5 pm, preferably on Fridays.
14. Never let the sales rep see your doctor if he/she shows up with the manager even if they have appointment.
15. Book appointments well in advance, by scheduling all the reps from one company on the same day (you may have 5-8 of them) and same time late in the day. When they all come in you leave on "emergency" call. Repeat for all companies
16. Do the same with lunches but with 5-10 different companies. When they show up with food, call as many homless persons as you can to the feast.
17. .......you continue
Hat tip CP.
3 comments:
This would create an army of much more easy going reps:
14. Never let the sales rep see your doctor if he/she shows up with the manager even if they have appointment.
Many doctors do already a number of these things. They may also make official dinner dates and then cancel at the last moment, not giving any reason, and/or having a hissy fit about something only they know about. Many reps now roll in large open plastic bins, greyish colored, with metal handles. If he rep comes in dressed in his/her best clothes, they will ask, aren't you hot? That question is not only reserved for high temperture days ;).
Be afraid to meet patients that still have brains intact and challenge the doctors in thought theory and then have the doc tell the patient to "become a Pharma rep, you will make more money than I do." and proceed to give you all of the DTC shit you ask for and read me the fortune from the cookie that came with the free Chinese food lunch, while telling patient[me]that no one listens to the reps anyhow.
Don't know where this fits on this list, but the guy I met in an elevator hoofing Mexican food and Lamictal wasn't having a very good day. Maybe they feel like whores.
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