Subject: New Stock Market Definitions
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET: A 6-to-18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my broker has made me.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO: What you yell after selling your online stock to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS 2000: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past-year investor who's now locked up in an asylum.
PROFIT: An archaic word no longer in use.
1 comment:
Hi Peter,
I love your blog! My name is Michelle Crowther and I present a program on ABC Radio in Australia (equivalent of NPR) called Hair of the Blog.
It's blog-based, I write - mostly local stuff - during the week and than talk to bloggers on-air on Sunday. http://blogs.abc.net.au/nt/darwin_sunday_blog/index.html
The economic meltdown has been dominating the news here for two weeks, even though we don't have it nearly as bad as you guys do. I'd love to have a chat with you on the phone for 5 minutes tomorrow, about the contents of your blog.. maybe touch on some of that terminology! Might this be possible? It'd be between 10am and midday our time, and depending on where you live in the states that's between 9pm and 11pm your time. Or, we could pre-record a couple of hours before that, if that was more convenient for you.
Cheers,
Michelle
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