If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have:

$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual
$37.50 if you bought Neomagic
$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac
$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND . . . You would have $ . . . 214.00 in cash.

So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan