I’ve always had the feeling that many girls really prefer the bad boys; maybe not as marriage material, but for pretty much everything else.
And I just got some of that confirmed when I wrote my recent article “I’ve been a bad boy.” This article was featured by CounterPunch, which has been named “America’s best political newsletter” by Out of Bounds Magazine.
In that article I had a link to the Dr. Peter Rost blog. And the onslaught was immediate and overwhelming, like a tsunami wave of readers. Mind you, I’ve had a few articles published by CounterPunch in the past, but nothing created a storm of new readers sweeping down onto my personal blog like this one.
Of course, I don’t know if all those readers consisted of girls, and clearly the fact that CounterPunch had added the words, “Posting Naughty Pictures” above my headline “I've Been a Very Bad Boy,” may have had something to do with the onslaught. So maybe it was mostly men coming by.
But I’d like to pretend it was mostly women.
After all, the article really dealt with the fact that I’d been a bad boy and hadn’t stuck to more serious topics and the article also happened to get into the joy of attending depositions.
And many readers obviously wanted to know more, so they came over to my place to take a look at the other articles.
It made me realize that what we really, really want and what we say we want are often to different things.
It’s the old story about the guy who claims he reads Playboy because of the articles.
Reality is that we may all be interested in important political stuff, analysis, and policy, but there are a few things that are simply irresistible.
Like a bad boy or a legal drama.
18 comments:
Bad Boys = sexy
I married my bad boy. Boy does he suck with the checkbook.
I think that few people mind the occasional indulgence. It's when the candy takes over the substance that you have a problem.
Peter, I love this writing!
I thought vice presidents were stuffy people. Your blog has proven me wrong.
anonymous: "I thought vice presidents were stuffy people."
===
What about Dick Cheney?
Anyone who can shoot another guy in the face and then gets
an apology is a BAD boy.
Cheney is a bad GUY - they are the opposite of sexy.
Bad boys are different.
Different topic.
Peter, do you look at findings like today's report of a 7-12% drop in breast cancer due to the stoppage of HRT usage, and wonder if Big Pharma has ANY desire to actually improve health? I do.
I don't get it. I came to the blog looking for close-ups of some sexy witchy big pharma vixen lawyer with “exquisitely manicured hands” (surely metonymic for something sizzling hot & sexy), and all I get is text. Huh? – I did like the Statoil ad, but that's because I've got some stock there. I didn’t like the nerdy suit-guy in the ad – he only deserved what he got, stupid git.
Where's the real discussion of whether girls like bad boys? What's "bad boys"? - I mean, how bad is "bad"? What kind of “bad” is the right kind of bad? Where’s the sociologically responsible info here?
I know from my own life, when I've acted in ways that make me less than straight-forward proud of myself, a certain type of moistcracked girls come flocking up, tits aperk. But that mostly makes me nauseous and scornful, seeing them as pretty (but) despicable. If I dip into such a girl, she'll wittingly or not exploit any tenderness I have or show her to the utmost anyway (this I know from trusting, dirty, mean experience - in the plural, I’m sorry to say), thereby defeating any yearning for love I might have or indeed she might have. And just screwing is, well, just screwing, leaving me with a feeling of a slightly shrivelled heart.
So I don't do girls who come on to the bad boy in me. Though the bad boy in me probably needs love more than my better cultured parts. There's a mean contradiction there, and I was hoping for some enlightenment shed on it under that title ("Do girls prefer bad boys?"). I mean, raising a question is all very fine, but what's the fucking answer? (Btw, I mean that expression of carnality literally, not as an expletive).
What's the connection in the contradiction, is what I wonder.
I wonder - how do we (I) connect a “bad boy”-induced girly giddyness to good behaviour, and how do I get to connect with the clever mind of a foxy lawyer-lady after her knickers are off?
Ole ullern, you should check his archives if you need some wigglin' t&a.
Here's the thing.
Bad boys are ones that appeal to our selfish reptilian sides - but are not so selfish and reptilian that you injure others or a truly ugly nature is revealed. Fun bad boys are the sexy ones.
Girls have lots of rules and mixed messages. Bad boys help us enjoy our self indulgent urges and live life to the fullest. Otherwise we can just stand around subject to the obnoxious judgemental gossip found in the women's room. I would rather be the subject of such gossip while having fun. It's my way of giving proper society the finger.
Here are a few examples of fun bad boys and mean bad guys.
Skipping work or school to go screw in the woods = fun bad not bad bad. Skipping responsibility to start a war for profit - that's a mean bad guy.
Overindulging and flirting with several people is fun bad, raping is mean bad.
Telling someone you will kick their ass if they don't respect the women in the room is a bad boy. Killing someone for looking at you wrong is a psychotic asshole.
Guy who prefers to get gritty on the road and so uses a motorcycle is a bad boy, a guy who wants to drive a Hummer hoping to get a hummer is a sad loser who doesn't give a shit about the planet.
To me a bad boy does have the same values as me, they respect life and liberty - but when the opportunity presents itself, they don't mind a joy ride in whatever structure it takes. Some even put up a whole front to represent as a 'bad boy' i.e. with tough guy dress, substances, talk - but really you just scratch the surface and they are lovers of life.
As someone who stopped by, I just wanted to let you know why.... May fill that void.
The Article was written third person, and I had no clue who you were.... The article didn't give it away. So, I clicked on the link to say "Who is this guy, what is he talking about, and why is it on Counterpunch?"
It's more that the article was about you, so knowing who "you" were was more central to understanding what you were talking about. Your articles that talk about Phizer don't require any background on you specifically to be understood. At that point we might search the web for info on Phizer instead of hit your blog for info on you.
Trust me, it wasn't looking for a "Bad Boy" or naughty pictures. (And FYI, I'm male, mid 30's. Good Demographic.) Just wanted to know more about the person telling me he craved attention.
However, at least one picture of the Sexy Lawyer would have been nice... All that foreplay and no finish.... Sigh.
How true. 100 yr ago I was rejected by a young woman who frankly said I was "too nice."
Women want bad boys during the fertile week, but will settle for a less interesting husband who ARE BETTER FATHERS the other 3 weeks.
Intersting discussion. This will be a bit of a long reply.
Women will destroy their lives for bad boys. The nonsense that bad boys are truly wonderful people under the skin is just that.
Nonsense.
Most real bad boys are exactly that and why women are so heavily attracted to them is a serious mystery. You can say it's about their sexuality but the reality is harder to explain.
I have seen first hand and watched shows about this and it never fails to amaze the idiocy portrayed by women with regards to bad boys.
One show in particular showed a small group of attractive women all admitting they would rather be with an attractive bad boy who never calls them, and makes them lower themselves to be with them by paying for everything, being emotionally unfullfilled because he is someone they want to be seen with. Attractive women NEVER go out with ugly bad boys, just the good looking ones.
How many shows, articles, etc have we all seen where you see the woman in pain and crying BUT refusing to leave the bad boy, because, "I LOVE him!", no matter how much he cheats on her, gives her a rough life and ignores his husbandly duties towards home and hearth? How about daily.
I have NEVER met nor seen this mythical bad boy of whom all you have to do is scratch the surface and see a truly wonderful human being. Or they wouldn't be a bad boy.
They are as mythical as dragons and intelligent politicians.
One day long in my past, I got tired of being "too nice", and thus alone, and developed an entirely new persona and became totally rude towards good looking women, played in a hard rock band, started wearing tight jeans and leather and the same women who wouldn't give me the time of day couldn't spread fast enough. Harsh words but truer ones I have never spoken (written?).
When I would show my true self to those who appeared to be real, they lost interest real fast. They want men who rule over them, and not equal partners or intelligent ones, or at least not intelligence when it comes to matters of the world.
Their mythology demands the bad boy continue to be a bad boy all the time, but in private be a true tender hearted, golden boy who makes excellent money, loves the kids, never gives the woman a hard time (except the bedroom)but still appears to be a bad boy when needed especially in public in front of their girlfriens.
They actually believe in the mythology the right woman can change him, just not in public.
So spare me this nonsense about what a bad boy truly is. He wouldn't be a bad boy unless he WAS a bad boy.
Well, girls may want bad boys, but women, real women want one good man! Or, so I have heard. The bad boys are everywhere, but, where, oh where, is that one good man? And, Peter, you are getting a little old, and bald, to play little boy.
Old?? Bald??? Alright, this is getting very scary. But you know, the strange part is it doesn't feeeeeel like that. It feels as if I'm still about thirty. Maybe that's my problem. Kind of like those people who think they have the wrong gender. I think I have the wrong age. Come to think of it this is a perfectly good new post. I'll be back.
buzzramjet, you sound bitter and lonely, and possibly boring. I have married the mythical bad boy and I'm so happy to say that we have struggled somewhat triumphantly through 14 years.
Of course I made ridiculous sacrifices for this man. I love him. I completely altered my life to be with him; it's called marriage.
I challenge you to find a better father or someone more dedicated to his wife and family than my husband. He is still bad for sure (though I won't say exactly how right here) and then goes out with the guys and gets shit from them for coming home to bed with me. I would say that our sex life is hotter than ever.
If you're ever in Colorado you can post it and we'll have you over for dinner you can meet my husband.
So you set up a fake experience to attract shallow women and were surprised when you were successful. Proves a lot about relationships.
Women will also cause themselves much pain and crying for having to leave security, money, and a cushy lifestyle. Hell, I consider frequent short bouts of crying to be part of a healthy lifestlye as a woman. Big freakin' deal- crying is water falling out of your face.
Yeah, Peter, at least it gave the comment side a tiny boost. As for feeling hip, young, and not at all bald, or old, that is normal. I am olderrrr than you. Much older. But I act as I feel, not my age. Funny thing, I DO look my age, but no one sees it; they see, and hear, my spirit. I am grey, and enjoying the silver. But, also, I still take courses for credit, comment on blogs, and enjoy compliments, for starters. The other day I visited a doctor I had not seen in two years. He immediately pointed out to me, that he was balding, and getting grey. Pointed out all the various spots. Two days before that, I had visited another doctor, a Sikh. He wears a turban. Ensured me, that he had hair under it! I recommended a turban to the balding young doctor. Then I said, you know what, I think bald heads are sexy! He perked up, but threatened to tell his wife I said that! I enjoyed myself! I am 72, and becoming more devious by the day. But, seriously, Peter, you are getting quite bald. Let that beard grow out a little more. Hmmm, oh, yeah!
Yeah women like "bad boys" because they usually fuck like stallions. I doubt Dick Cheney can do that cause he's not really a "bad boy" he's more like a bad man, a very bad man, evil, without any religious connotations. I have taken on quite a few bad boys... then I got the herpes, i figured maybe that was a sign to stop going out with losers who don't know how to balance their checkbooks.
I've said this before, but apparently it bears repeating.
To all you "good guys" out there, here's the real skinny on "bad boys":
It's strength. S-T-R-E-N-G-T-H! Not physical strength (although that doesn't hurt), we want a man who is confident, so confident in himself that he won't let us push him around or control him, but not so overly confident that he's a total asshat.
We want him to have the strength of his convictions and the strength of his character, which will naturally give birth to confidence, and confidence is VERY sexy.
Women want a man who won't die (or try to change) because we won't date him. We can smell desperation a mile away. We don't want a man who is so desparate he goes overboard trying to impress.
WE WANT OUR MEN TO BE MEN, STRENGTH, CHARACTER, CONFIDENCE, STANDARDS! (is that to much to ask???)
Unfortunatly, bad boys only APPEAR to have these strengths. You don't find out til later that they are usually weaker than all the good guys you mowed down to get to them.
Hipmama/Buzzramjet/Moogirl et al,
Tnx. Good clarifications there. That’s what PeterRost (hi Peter) should have said smth about in the first place, under that title. So, good discussion.
Somewhere we meet, men and women, bad and good, yet that meeting-place is beyond our selves. Meaning we all have to stretch a little, give up some hold on our persona, to get there. Such stretching always verges on the uncertain and painful.
In meeting the opposite sex, we all seek that which we are not, yet at the same time want and need to retain what we are. That's the span we try to bridge in a good-natured flirting game. With luck (and some compatible skill) we can make full contact in orgasm. And retain the strengthened connection afterwards.
Already in my teens I realized I can never be a wolfish "pick-up artist". Simply because as soon as I have any part of the game pat, it becomes boring. Then I have to move on to someone more challenging than any woman I know how to pick up without challenging my self. Even in a steady relationship I've always needed some comfortable but alert tension to egg the connection on to deeper contact - as I my self keep growing and maturing.
My guess is this goes for all of us, to some degree, independent of sex (both the gender and the act).
We need the spice of uncertainty with what we're certain of, to grow. Contrary to the cleaving that’s also nice, I know I need the tinge of dangerous unpredictability and self-sufficiency in a girl. That's the bad. The good-bad.
Such is my thinking – today.
Love to y’all.
Peter Rost, M.D., a former Pfizer VP marketing, is an expert witness and marketing consultant. According to Fortune "Peter Rost has become the drug industry's most annoying - and effective - online scourge."
For more information:
Expert Witness: Drug Industry
Pharmaceutical Expert
Drug Expert Witness
Speaker Ethics
Speaker Healthcare
Speaker Drug Industry
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