PETER ROST: PHARMA MARKETING EXPERT WITNESS. AWP, MEDICAL DEVICE EXPERT.: DATING NIGHTMARE
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PETER ROST: PHARMA MARKETING EXPERT WITNESS. AWP, MEDICAL DEVICE EXPERT.

Peter Rost, M.D., is a former Pfizer Marketing Vice President providing services as a medical device and drug expert witness and pharmaceutical marketing expert. Judge Sanders: "The court agrees with defendants' view that Dr. Rost is a very adept and seasoned expert witness." He is also the author of Emergency Surgery, The Whistleblower and Killer Drug. You can reach him on rostpeter (insert symbol) hotmail.com. Please read the terms of use agreement and privacy policy for this blog carefully.

DATING NIGHTMARE

This story is so amazing that I wouldn't have believed it unless I could listen to the recordings. And you will too. I picked it up from PR. Differently. Here's the story as told by PR. Differently:

How Not to Act on J-Date

So based on the success of "What not to do if you don't get the job," this week, we're proud to bring you "How not to act on J-Date."

COMPLETE WITH AUDIO!!

For the uninitiated, (those who don't live in either New York, Florida, Los Angeles, or Israel,) J-Date is match.com for Jews. I've used it. I've had a few good dates from it, a few horrible dates from it, like most everyone has.

And when you have one of those horrible dates, you chalk it up. "Oh, it was just dinner," you say.

That's life. There'll be other dates. Right?

I mean, that's what we all do, yes?

NOT DARREN SHERMAN. Darren just felt... Well, "wronged."

So let's start here: Darren's profile reads:

About me:

I joined JDate four weeks ago. Cute, tall and funny best describes me!
I am a person whom is usually on the go, particularly in the warm
weather. In the summertime you can typically find me on the beaches in the
Hampton's or New Jersey shore. In the wintertime I enjoy taking drives
to beautiful towns such as Lambertsville, Red Bank, Katonah, Port
Jefferson and Greenwich. "People watching" can be an easily enjoyable
activity for me. I own a management consulting firm assisting financial
institutions with regulatory issues. I travel extensively for business and
pleasure.

I am looking for:

I am on JDate to find someone special. I have no set rules per se on
dating someone younger/older (20-40). I have learned that age really does
not matter; so why limit any possibilities in finding a life long
partner. Wouldn't you agree? Physcial characteristics: Preferably tall and
medium build. Mentally: Fun and easy going. Someone who is comfortable
with themselves. I love a good jokester so please be funny!

Below is a little bit more about me from a professional perspective.
(Hey, JDating is serious business :-)

Biography of Darren L. Sherman:

Mr. Darren L. Sherman is CEO of <company deleted to give the guy at least somewhat of a chance of recovering from his stupidity at some point in his life from a business perspective, anyway,> a
consultation firm providing regulatory compliance and internal audit
assistance to..blah blah. Darren previously served as a Senior
Investigator for the <government agency deleted>..blah blah.

References are available upon request :-)

I hope we get the chance to finally meet!

Darren

_____

So Darren asks Joanne out. Joanne accepts. They eat at China Grill. (Nice restaurant. I've been there.) Darren pays, despite Joanne offering to split the check.

At some point after the meal, Darren gets the idea that Joanne didn't like him.

Rather than just chalk it up to a bad date (hey, it happens, right?) Darren... Well, Darren has other plans.

DARREN EMAILS JOANNE ASKING HER TO SEND HIM $50 FOR HER PORTION OF DINNER.

Yes. I paused and re-read that about 30 times, too.

I couldn't be serious, could I? He actually didn't email that, did he? Oh, but he did:

From: Darren Sherman
Date: Jun 19, 2006 8:48 PM
Subject: Date
To:
xxxxx@xxxxxx.com
: <
mailto:xxxxx@xxxxxx.com>
Cc:


Sorry things didn't work out. I guess you changed your
mind.
Here is my address for the $50 bucks:
<DELETED> East <DELETED> Street, Apt. 504
NY NY 10028
Take care,
Darren

_______

OK. So Darren's a bit odd. Fine. He emailed her, she didn't respond, and he let it go. Right?

Come on. What kind of story would that be?

Darren CALLED HER AND LEFT A VOICE MAIL, THREATENING TO SEND HER A SUMMONS IF SHE DOESN'T PAY HER SHARE OF THE BILL!

(Insert Jerry Springer "OH NO HE DIDN'T" line here.)

But he did.

Listen here:

Download VM-01-1.wav

So Joanne goes to work, after hearing that email on her mobile phone voice mail the night before, and before she can even say the world "stalker," she gets the following email:

From: Darren Sherman
Date: Jun 20, 2006 8:13 AM
Subject: Darren
To:
xxxxx@xxxxxx.com
: <
mailto:xxxxx@xxxxxx.com>
Cc:


Joanne,

I wanted to follow up on my email and call to you last night to ensure you received my messages for the $50.

Please acknowledge by replying to this email that you will be sending me the $50.

I hope you understand from my point of view.

Thanks,
Darren

________

Um... OK. This is just getting weird. It ends here, right.

Heh. Yeah. Right.

Joanne sends the following email back to Darren:

Darren,

I just received your emails and also your message from last night. I was away and am just getting back this morning. I had every intention of calling you andmeeting to go out but your email has completely turned me off and i find it extremely tacky. I will not be sending you any money since i offered that night to pay and you told me no that you would take care of it.

Please do not call me or send me another email i would rather not hear from you at all. And for future reference in the dating world you may want to rethink the tacky approach about asking someone for money like that perhaps that is why you haven't met anyone or have seen them again.

__________

Go Joanne!! Way to show a backbone! Nice!

This, of course, (as you could have guessed,) just sends Darren to the next level.

HE CUTS AND PASTES HIS AMEX BILL INTO AN EMAIL!!!

From: Darren Sherman
Date: Jun 20, 2006 10:22 AM
Subject: American Express Bill
To:
xxxxx@xxxxxx.com
: <
mailto:xxxxx@xxxxxx.com>

06/04/2006
CHINA GRILL NEW YORK NY
FOOD/BEVERAGE
FOOD-BEV 107.83
TIP 20.00
Reference No: 320061560288086573
More Detail
127.83

Do the right thing Joanne.

Thanks,
Darren

__________

Words fail me.

About four hours later, DarrenStalker (TM) strikes again, sending another voice mail, telling Joanne that she's "hiding behind email," and now he's going to "contact her employer."

There aren't big enough letters on my keyboard to type "WTF?"

Listen here, and try not to snort soda out of your nose.

Download VM-02-2.wav

After receiving this barrage of communications, Joanne decides to fire off an email to Darren to end this once and for all:

From: xxxxx@xxxxxx.com
: <
mailto:xxxxx@xxxxxx.com>
Date: Jun 20, 2006 2:38 PM
Subject:
To: Darren Sherman

Darren

I am truly sorry it didn't work out. You seemed like a nice guy, but after your voice mails you have now entered the world of a first class creep. Dating is not business, I offered to go dutch at the time the bill came and you declined, as far as I am concerned that is the end of the story. I didn't know that your paying the bill was contingent on me going out with you again.

Once again, I think you need to look internally as to why things are not working out for you in the dating world. You had mentioned that you had been burned several times, and I am sorry if you feel that it has happened to you again, but perhaps it is your approach in dealing with others that leads to this. Dating and relationships and business are completely different and there is not a quid pro quo for eating and drinking on a date. If this is how you think it works, perhaps you should get consult a professional who I could take care of all of your needs. If I remember correctly it was your choice to go out for dinner, I would have been just as happy to take a walk in the park to get to know you.

With that said, please feel free to call my employer or issue a summons if you think that this will help. Your message has said that you will not drop this, and I am not one to be bullied or threatened. I have saved all your messages and if you chose to go ahead with your threats then I will be more than happy to notify the proper authorities and get a restraining order. I will also let your clients and employees know about your erratic and bizarre behavior.

Joanne.

_________

I do love her backbone.

Does this phase Stalker-Darren? (Who should totally be a comic strip character and should fight the Green Lantern or something...)

No, it does not phase Stalker-Darren.

Darren calls her OFFICE, again threatening the summons, and offering up this pearl of Darren-Wisdom: "You ate the food, you drank the wine, Pay your bill."

Words fail me here, guys. And seriously - for a publicist? That's rare.

Listen here:

Download VM-03-3.wav

And of course, much like the Ginsu Knives commercial, just wait. There's MORE!

After another 28 minutes, Darren calls her cell phone AGAIN!! This time, (and I implore you - sit down for this one) he lets Joanne know that he's CALLED CHINA GRILL TO REPORT A DISCREPENCY IN THE BILL!

Yes, you read that right. Darren has told Joanne that he called China Grill to speak to the General Manager to explain that he should not have been charged for the entire meal - i.e., He expects China Grill to call Joanne and get her half of the bill, and credit his AmEx.

People, I have no motive for lying. You can't make this stuff up. Listen to the fourth voice mail here:

Download VM-04-4.wav

Finally, the fifth voice mail. From CHINA GRILL! They called, apparently as confused as we all are, asking Joanne what the heck was going on.

Download VM-05.WAV

PR props to China Grill - When Joanne told them the story, they not only told her to not worry about the bill, but offered her a free drink the next time she stopped in. WELL DONE, China Grill's GM. Someone got their PR training. Bravo.

At this point, kids, that's where our story ends. Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Darren Sherman - Perhaps he's filing a "stop payment" on his Amex Bill... Or perhaps he's given up J-Date all together.

One thing we do know, though - (and how many times have I said this?) It you put it out there, either on a voice mail, email, fax, or the Internet, it WILL come back to bite you in the ass.

You don't believe me?

Just ask Darren Sherman.

6 Comments:

Blogger Argon said...

Funny how I read this post about 5 mins after watching "Must Love Dogs" on DVD, talk about synchronicity! One of the lines in the movie is that "There are 20 million guys on match.com, about half are gay so that leaves 10, about 5 million have prison records, bad acne and personality problems so that still leaves about 5 million single guys out there to choose from"

It just goes to show even through we have such an advanced communications technology (email, mobile phone text, voice mail, camera phones) we still are so bad at actually communicating that such misunderstandings are so common.

As the saying goes "Dates are like job interviews that last all night" and many are as bad at them as they are for getting a job. You hear about lawsuits arising from those also, so it's not surprising about one from a bad date too.

He's probably not going to live the bad rep he gets from being such a bad date anytime soon so that pretty much saves the people that he might have gone out with from having to suffer through any more.

Think of it as Evolution in action at least he's been mostly shoved out of the gene pool for making too many waves eh?

10/22/2006  
Blogger Moogirl said...

Does anyone else see a misogynistic serial killer in the making?

If this is what's out there, I think I'll keep the husband!

10/23/2006  
Anonymous Alex said...

So we can assume Darren's an emotional retard. ;)

***

To that, let me add a joke.

Ten (and a half) reasons why Republicans—yes, Republicans—are the best party in bed By Anonymous


Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’d think Democrats would be better in the sack, because they’re usually, well…better human beings in general. Plus, they’re so em-oh-tional and sen-sitive and they genuinely care about your day. And how you feel. And how you felt yesterday. “Is there anything you need?” they whimper. Oh, shutthefuckup! This is sex we’re talking about! After numerous years of intensive research on both sides of the aisle—and sometimes in the aisle—I am here to report that Republican men (except the closet cases) are infinitely better to have sex with. Here’s why.

1. NO CONSCIENCE!
A Republican man will never whine in the middle of the night—let alone in the middle of screwing you—about the girlfriend/wife/whatever he is “devastating” by sleeping with you. He just does it. It’s all about him—he needs to be the best you ever had, and that can be a good thing if your getting off is contingent on his. He doesn’t even stay for breakfast. (Though if you do make him breakfast, he is eternally grateful and will go down on you for another several hours.) One word: pancakes!

2. NO TEARS!
A Republican man will never, ever cry. Not on election night (no matter what happens). Not when you’re breaking up with him (what, you think he cared?). Not even when he’s having “a problem I’ve never had before, really, I’m not kidding, I swear.”

3. A SENSE OF PERSPECTIVE
I’ve dated Democrats whose nights have been ruined (forever!) due to some stupid-ass comment by Bill Frist on Hardball. I’ve watched them go all mopey, argue with the TV…and then their little weenies disappear. Not so with GOPers. Republicans, particularly when naked, do not want to sit around and talk about Social Security privatization. Or Iraq, for chrissake. Or why (oh, boo hoo, get over it!) Kerry lost. They don’t even want to sit around naked and talk about George W. Bush. They just want you to sit on them.

4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
Republicans are happy to watch Jon Stewart with you. They think he’s a riot. They don’t parse every word he says in an effort to figure out if “The Huffington Post” will approve. They just laugh, pour another cocktail, and decide upon which couch they will fuck your brains out after the show.

5. FOREPLAY
Democrats often need something incredibly erotic—like Meet the Press—to get revved up, particularly on a Sunday morning (there are only so many sections of The New York Times). Republicans, on the other hand, don’t even need Fox News to get it up. They understand that foreplay is about sex. And lots of it. Democrats are too busy checking if the condoms you keep in the jar by the bed are good for the environment. And by the time they figure that out, we’ve all lost our erections.

6. SIZE
It is absolutely, positively, 100 percent true that Republicans have bigger dicks. Just ask Lynne Cheney. (Dick is the Liam Neeson of Washington!)

7. EFFICIENCY
Republicans are much more likely to whip their dicks out during the cab ride back from dinner. (This is not an urban myth.) They are also more inclined to get started in the elevator, pin you against a wall, do you on the kitchen sink, wherever. Democrats bring jammies, spend at least twenty minutes prior to “sex time” doing God knows fucking what in the bathroom, and then emerge with a big grin that says: “After all I did for you supporting equal pay and abortion rights, the least you could do is make love to me.” Democrats always think you owe them. Republicans, because they’ve never done a goddamn thing for you, have no such delusions.

8. LARGESSE
Republicans have great taste in restaurants and will never make the wussiest of pre-date proposals: “You pick.” They understand that a woman wants a guy who knows how to pick a restaurant by himself. And who doesn’t feel the need to tell you what Zagat said about it before you get there. A Republican also knows how to order wine without getting all prissy about it, never dissects the bill (they don’t even look at it!), and will never, ever—ever—say, “Well, yes, I think that’s fair; your half comes to $39.25, but you had one more drink than I did,” if you offer to pay. They won’t let you think about offering to pay. This is so sexy! The best part: There’s never any guilt involved; we all know they got their tax break.

9. WOOING TECHNIQUES
Republicans will never send you group e-mails that consist of the entire text of Al Gore’s last speech (that was “woefully underreported” but “I knew you’d want to read it in its entirety”). Or the sign-up sheet for Democracy in Action, or whatever the hell those weirdos from the Howard Dean campaign are up to now. Or forms to send your congressperson because something terrible is happening to some woman you don’t know in Niger. (And you’d better send it to a hundred more friends or her labia will be removed tonight!!!) Nah. Republicans send e-mails that say: “I can’t wait to eat your pussy.”

10. NIGHTSTAND READING
You will never hear a Republican say, “Let’s just cuddle and read The New Yorker tonight.” They understand you do not want reading materials in bed. You want a man.

10.5. THE BIG CAVEAT
Yes, Republicans are the better lay—but only the Republicans you’ve never heard of. The more prominent they are, the less fuckable they are. The opposite is true of Democrats. Think about it. Is there any woman on the face of the earth who wouldn’t fuck Bill Clinton? (Didn’t think so.) But with a gun to your head, could you even think of doing Santorum? DeLay? Lott? Yuck, yuck, yuck! Okay, with a gun to our head, we might do W. And Cheney. Definitely Cheney. As long as we’re blindfolded. (But that’s okay. Republicans are into that, too.)

10/23/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Internet dating service - that should be your first clue.

10/23/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When you blatantly copy and paste from other people's blogs, including the links to the voice mails hosted on those blogs, it's usually considered good Karma to at least offer a link back to the blog.

10/28/2006  
Blogger Peter Rost said...

"When you blatantly copy and paste from other people's blogs, including the links to the voice mails hosted on those blogs, it's usually considered good Karma to at least offer a link back to the blog."

Uhh, perhaps you should try to actually read this post. If you did you would have noticed that I did do just that in the first paragraph. Duuh.

Now please crawl back under that rock you came from.

Shoooo!

10/28/2006  

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